Ever receive a bad gift? Maybe it was that hand-knitted bird sweater from your Grandma that led to a swift beat-down on the playground. Maybe it was that re-gifted pot holder that says "Sarah" on the gift tag (your name is Jim). Bad gift givers like to say something is better than nothing. We disagree.
We polled groomsmen from all walks of life to find the 100 worst groomsmen gifts.
100 Worst Groomsmen Gifts
Male thongs
A wheel of cheese
That 20 bucks he already owes you
A-B-C gum
A reed diffuser (What, you're telling me my house smells?)
A bandanna with a banana pattern on it
An old bicycle with one pedal
The phone number of a romance novel author
A dancing sunflower alarm clock
A bikini wax job (um...)
A "man"icure (There's nothing manly about it)
Neon pink tank top with the word "groomsman" on it in rhinestones.
A Maltese named Princess that you'll be forced to parade around with for the next 15 years
A man purse (a.k.a. murse)
Leather chaps
A case of tangerine wine coolers.
A self-help book that tells you how to lose weight
A dusty VHS player
Gift Certificate to McDonalds for a free ice-cream cone and Mc Nuggets. (Mc "No Thank You").
Tickets to see the Nut Cracker. (The words "Nuts" and "Cracker," don't belong together. And it's only the scariest. ballet. ever)
Donation made in your name to the local transgender society, complete with your phone number and address on the mailing list. (The future solicitations will never stop and you'll never date again)
Dollar Store grab bag (Price tag attached)
Ash trays that the groom made at the local pottery painting place. And you don't smoke. But he painted your name on real nice...
6 pack of Bic lighters and a cigar from the irregular bin
Beaded bracelet that the bride made in her beginning jewelry class at the community college
The extra favor boxes leftover at the end of the reception
Sunglasses circa 1993. Neon is not back in and it's not old enough to be retro.
Anything that looks like it came from Goodwill. The stench will give it away
Stack of Archie and Jughead comics from the line at the grocery store. ('Cause you like to read and all)
Pack of Virginia Slims
Happy Meal toys. (Even if it is GI Joe, this groomsman gift sucks)
Dollar-store-bin undies with his name sewn into them
A feral cat
Belly button lint
A handful of couch Cheetos
Arena Football tickets
Year supply of car washes (You take the bus)
License plate covers that read "Groovy Groomsman Aboard"
Sod
A soiled wig
A monkey paw from that creepy store that sells Voodoo stuff
Fortune cookies... sans fortune
A restraining order
A brochure from Alcoholics Anonymous
An army of porcelain dolls so they can stare at you with murderous intent
A Christmas ornament. (You're Jewish)
Pumpkin-pie-scented lotion
A fraying LA Gear Jean jacket, sweat stains and all
A mail-order bride to nag you so you're just as miserable as the groom
Tickets to a "Tijuana show" along with cash for the surgery you'll need after you gouge your eyes out
Scratch off lotto tickets and a case of Bud Light
The thigh master (It's just going to spring back and accidentally hit you in the chin. You might as well punch yourself in the face)
A XXL tee-shirt, plastered with the groom's wedding pictures. (You're a medium. And you wouldn't walk around wearing a sandwich board of the bride and groom. So don't wear their "we're in love," tee shirt)
Cheap cologne that makes you stink like you just took a dip in the Amazon River
Carnival goldfish (Am I supposed to feed these things?)
Anything Hello Kitty (A great groomsmen gift, if only I was a 12-year-old girl)
A possessed Teddy Ruxbin
A cassette tape player and old tape of Motley Crew
A moose clock that bellows every hour on the hour
Sea-monkeys
A gift certificate to a tattoo parlor with the hope that the whole wedding party gets matching tattoos. (You're not in the boy band 98 Degrees. Yes, Nick LaShay we remember)
A poem or painting the groom created himself. (Sorry buddy, your creative endeavors don't count as groomsmen gifts)
Magazine subscriptions (magazines are dead)
Remaindered paperback books
A used clown lamp with light up eyes (shudder)
Bootleg copies of Elvis movies (ones that feature beefy, older Elvis)
An airport vomit bag ...filled (No, this isn't a nice keepsake of the Vegas bachelor party)
Toe socks
Beano
Adult diapers. (Unless you know someone who is going on a very long trip. Only then are diapers thoughtful groomsmen gifts)
Personalized toilet paper with the bride's face on it (Actually if you hate the bride this makes a great groomsmen gift)
Personalized toilet paper with the groom's face on it (Like you really want that ugly mug staring up at you)
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