Best Man Guide
If you were living in the dark ages, you would be asked to defend
your best friend's honor with a sword, and groomsmen gifts would
consist of gruel and chickenbones. Today, being a best man still has
its share of responsibilities--being the ring bearer, getting singles
at the strip club, etc. Play it smart. After all, you are being counted
on to put together a clutch performance as the right hand man! Here is
a general outline to help you get organized:
The Bachelor Party
- Organize bachelor party. If you want something beyond the average
groomsmen gifts, this is the place to score points. The party can
include dinner, cigars, sport outing (e.g., golf or tickets to sports
events), hotel party, strip clubs, groomsmen gifts, etc.
- Talk to the groom first and find out what he wants to do. Of course
you can plan some surprises, just use your head-- the one with the
brain in it!
- Give yourself time. Organizing the party in one week will not work
and cause you un-needed stress. Bribe the boys with the promise of
better groomsmen gifts to help you.
- Go over the list of invitees with the groom. You'll want to ditch
father-in-laws and any loose-lipped relatives who might sing like a
canary when it's time to get "X-rated."
- Talk to all invitees before the party about costs, the agenda, etc.
Nobody wants any surprises the day of the bachelor party-unless those
surprises are first-class groomsmen gifts.
- Coordinate a designated driver or hire a limousine service.
- Make sure the groom to be does not come home with itching and/or
burning sensations in his weenie, or else be prepared to do lots of
explaining to the bride-to-be!
Rehearsal Dinner
- Because this typically happens a day before the wedding,
your pal will have much on his mind and doesn't need to worry about the
details. Contact all the groomsmen and make sure they are attending the
dinner, on time, have directions to the site and are sober. Remind them
that their groomsmen gifts hang in the balance.
The Wedding Day
- Keep the groom on schedule. The schedule is typically
organized by the bride who will distribute copies ahead of time. Go off
her schedule and prepare to die!
- Drive the groom to the ceremony site one hour before the wedding
photographs. You should be in your tux for photos as well. Autograph
and mail as funny gag groomsmen gifts.
- Offer to take the check envelopes to pay the clergyman, musicians,
photographers and other service providers. Non traditionally speaking,
this responsibility also can be given to a wedding consultant, father
of the bride, or even one of the bridesmaids.
- Witness the signing of the marriage license. Keep the groom's hand
steady--he probably will be shaking like a farm animal preparing to be
slaughtered.
- When you're backstage with the groom, help him prepare for the
final call - Yes, you might see your buddy cry for the first time. Just
make sure his tie is strait and assure him there's still time to get
outta here if he says the word.
- Hold the bride's ring for the groom (if there is no ring bearer)
until needed by the officiant. Check for any holes in your pockets
first, and don't fumble the hand-off!
- Drive the newlyweds to the reception if there is no hired driver.
Resist urge to pilfer the groomsmen gifts propped in the passenger
seat.
- Be prepared to dance with bridesmaids and relatives of the bride
and groom. Watch Spanish networks ahead of time if you don't already
know how to do the Macarena.
- Drive the newlyweds to the airport for their honeymoon if there is
no hired driver. You're probably catching on by now that you should be
prepared to do some driving, so fill up the tank and check the oil
ahead of time.
Speeches & Toasting
- Offer first toast at the reception. This usually occurs
before the dinner. Thank him for the honor, the groomsmen gifts and for
no longer providing competition with girls.
- Find out if you will be speaking from a podium, platform or table.
Most importantly, use good taste when you speak. No need to bring up
the time you both banged Mrs. Robinson in 12th grade after class no
matter how poignant.
- Consider having wedding toasts written for you.
Out of Town Guests- Offer to pick them up at the airport.
- Be prepared to do some entertaining with guests before the wedding
day. (Hey, maybe you'll get lucky with one of the groom's cousins.)
Formal Wear- Your last major task as best man is to return all tuxedos to the
shop. Make sure all groomsmen and ushers give you tuxedos in good
condition and on time. This is crucial-you don't want to have your
groomsmen gifts garnished.
Congratulations! Like Angelo Dundee was to Mohammed Ali, so is the best man to the groom.
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