Will Work For Groomsmen Gifts

By Bob

Strange how things happen. I've been dating my girlfriend - Jane - for about six months now. We're in love - not the nasty eye-fluttering kinda love. It's more the we-both-like-the-same-movies and she doesn't care too much if I leave my underwear on the floor kinda love.

So last week, I proposed. She said yes. Then she went insane.

My girlfriend - oh, wait, fiancee - is totally crazed, running around, reading about 200 pounds of wedding magazines a week. What happened to the kick-back girl I fell for?

Yesterday I got home when she pounced. I had my hand in the fridge, about to grab a beer. I didn't stand a chance.

"Have you picked out groomsmen gifts yet?" she asked. "You have to pick out groomsmen gifts, quick. The wedding's coming up!"

"But, honey, the wedding isn't for eight months. I don't even have groomsmen picked out yet, let alone the groomsmen gifts..." I winced. Wrong thing to say

"You don't even know who your best man is yet?! I picked my bridesmaids and maid of honor out the day you proposed." She waved a magazine at me. I dodged back. "When are you going to do all this stuff?!"

I tried the nice guy tack. "Baby, you're stressed. Relax. We've got lotsa time." I gave up on the beer and tried rubbing her shoulders instead.

"OK, but look at this." She dragged me over to the computer.

Note: I should tell you a little bit about us: Jane's a total geek. She lives for computers. She even writes a blog, whatever the heck that is. Me, I'm a college grad. That's all I can say. I fix rich people's cars and motorcycles for a living. But the only thing I can do with a computer is e-mail. When Jane wants me to see the computer - a fancy black thing that vibrates like a Ducati when she starts it up - it must be pretty important.

So here I am, and I see she's got a web site up on the screen: Groomstand.com.

"Oookaaaaay." I say.

Jane gets going. "I want you to start picking out groomsmen gifts. Ben would really like a wallet. Jerry is a hiker so a compass seems like a good idea. And John is into baseball, right? So get him an engraved bat or something....."

Waddaya know - I have picked out my groomsmen. And the gifts, too...

I'm going to keep writing you guys. Hopefully it'll keep me from going insane...

Signed,
—Groom Bob