10 Wedding Themes That Are Worse Than Yours
Themes are tricky. And they usually aren't your idea, we understand. But no matter how roped in you are to your fiancee's vision of a butterfly tea party garden wedding, be comforted. We have compiled some of the worst wedding themes that have actually happened -- for real. Tea parties suddenly don't seem so bad, do they?
The Hunting WeddingThe epitome of redneck celebrations, a hunting wedding runs the gamut from camo tuxes to animal-head decorations, fluorescent- orange accents to mossy centerpieces. For the hyper-dedicated, you can incorporate antlers into the bride's tiara and tie shot-gun shells to the back of a four-wheeler as you drive away to your honeymoon in the hunting lodge. Hey - stop liking this idea! It's not cool. Best groomsmen gift ideas: smoked venison jerky, personalized trucker hats.
The Vampire Wedding
I hate to say it, but with every lady absolutely bonkers for Twilight, the realm of vampire weddings is evolving... in some ways for the better. Gone now are the coffins, black lace, frilly shirts, and Gothic candelabras, replaced by a hunky, youthful aesthetic. On the other hand, you will be forced to whitewash your face and cover yourself in glitter. And forever be held to the standard of a teenage vampire who doesn't really exist.
Best groomsmen gift ideas: vials of your own venomous saliva, black satin capes.
The Clown Wedding
This is really only acceptable if you are actually a clown in an actual circus marrying another clown in a circus during a circus. Otherwise leave the over-sized shoes and clashing patterns at home, in your closet. You're traumatizing your guests.
Best groomsmen gift ideas: flowers that squirt water, a dog trained to hop on one foot.
The Duct Tape Wedding
There were always those screw-ball kids at the high school prom who sought to reject the conventions of expensive tuxes and, well, fabric for the more subversive use of tape. You will notice that none of those kids will grow up to repeat this at their weddings. Because they realized twenty minutes after donning their tape attire, they were sweating, chafing, and couldn't really bend over. Because it's tape. And tape doesn't breathe. Or move.
Best groomsmen gift idea: individualized duct tape wallets.
The Naked Wedding
I promise, promise, promise nobody wants to see that. Save it for the honeymoon.
Best groomsmen gift ideas: body oils, personalized dumbbells.
The Bagel Wedding
The tale began one day in a Yahoo Answers forum: A couple met at a bagel shop, so they decided to have a bagel-themed wedding. And not just serving bagels at the reception, which is a perfectly acceptable and a cool way to bring personality to your wedding. They are decorating with bagels: bagel centerpieces, bagel napkin rings, bagel wedding favors. Bagel wedding rings?
Best groomsmen gift idea: a lifetime supply of flavored cream cheese.
The Medieval Wedding
A wedding theme for those stuck in the past... way in the past. To make your wedding as authentically medieval as possible, try not showering for the three months leading up to the ceremony. Have your guests squat over latrines rather than modern bathroom facilities. Eat your turkey legs with your hands! It's so romantic!
Best groomsman gift ideas: personalized scabbards, codpieces, ale tankards.
The Pirate Wedding
Johnny Depp did it (kind of...) so it must be okay, right? Eyeliner, satin vests, and long beards with dangling beads a delightful wedding make. Especially if you are on a boat. The only problem? Unless every single one of your wedding guests is also as into pirates as you, there is a pretty good chance that you will be dressed like an idiot and everyone else will look normal. And they will laugh at you.
Best groomsmen gift ideas: gold hoop earrings, personalized eye patches.
The Cartoon Wedding
The problem here is that you have to convince two of your guests to dress up in full Disney costume. You had better get your best man a groomsman gift to beat all groomsmen gifts for this one. I mean, seriously. He is dressed like Mickey.
Best groomsmen gift ideas: Disney autograph book, personalized hip flask.
The Compromise WeddingSure you think you are being very mature when you and your fiance decide to make each other happy and combine wedding themes. And maybe you are being mature. But your wedding is going to end up ridiculous. Best groomsman gift ideas: whatever you want. You obviously think your ideas are the best.
Congratulations - your wedding is totally normal! Embrace the butterflies, rejoice in the gardens. And find tones of awesome groomsmen gifts at Groomstand.com.
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