July 2006
"The Swiss Army: Built Fjord Tough"
(The following is an interview translated from Swedish to English. The participants are Stockholm news reporter Jurgen Sledge and General Sven Svensvenson, leader of the Swiss Army. No groomsmen gifts were given in exchange for this interview) REPORTER: General Svensvenson, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule...
"No Baggage With This Baggage"
The bachelor party has been set. It’s time for the groomsmen to take the groom out for one last hurrah, and that final hurrah can only mean one thing -- donkey show at El Diablo’s in Tijuana, Meh-hee-ko! (Zagats gives it 4 out of 5 stars and so does this...
"Money Clipping - 15 Yards"
(The following is an actual conversation about groomsmen gifts that took place in this reviewer’s head.) A Groom-To-Be is seated at his computer. He picks up his cell phone and dials. After a few rings, his Best Man picks up. He, too, is seated in front of a computer. GROOM-TO-BE:...
"Nice Shaft, Buddy"
Phil Mickelson plays golf. I play golf. But the only thing I have in common with Lefty is man-boobs. Don’t know how Phil is able to consistently sink difficult putts with two flesh pendulums swinging to and fro under the influence of gravity, but he does, defying laws of physics...
Lost in a Crowd
You have spent countless hours rehearsing the perfect proposal. You went to the ends of the earth to outdo all others before you and you've pulled it off. Your proposal was complete with shrieks of surprise, tears of joy, kisses of shocked passion and of course shouts of a resounding...
