What's Up Bro? Groomsmen Gifts for your Bros
GroomStand Defines Bro:
Everyone notices when a bro walks into a room. It's impossible not to. When they're not loudly going on about girls, they're talking about someone's ass they kicked. Or how drunk they are/were/or soon will be. A bro dons tight, ripped jeans and flip flops, with a shirt that says something like "Getting Lucky in Kentucky." When it comes to groomsmen gifts
for bros, anything beer-related will do. They also have a preference for bachelor party tee shirts
and personalized pub signs
. (Broto from Bro Spotting.com
). When someone asks, "What's up Bro?" (the most over-used phrase in brospeak), turn around: we guarantee you see a guy drinking Red Bull and wearing a flipped-up, turned-to-the-side visor that crowns a receding crop of highlighted hair. Bronus if he has a popped-up collar. Bros are rapidly aging frat boys that thrive on attention. Once you know who your bros are, it's easy to find them groomsmen gifts. The Urban Dictionary definition:
Nearly everyone in a fraternity is a bro but there are also many bros who are not in a fraternity. They often wear a rugby shirt and a baseball cap. It is not uncommon for them to have spiked hair with frosted tips. GroomStand note:
True bros wear their baseball hats backwards.
Where to Find Bros:
Last time we went to Sin City, bros were everywhere: sunburned and floating around in the pool with yard-tall beers, trying to scam on chicks. On the plane, yelling "That's so Money, Baby," At the club, wearing un-cuffed vertical-striped shirts with dark jeans, doing the dice-throw dance so obviously ripped off from "Knocked Up." If a bro can't make it to Vegas, you'll find him in Cancun. X-Treme Sporting Events:
When bros aren't drunk, they're actually quite athletic. They favor extreme sports like snowboarding, skydiving, drunk softball, or dodgeball. Bros are very competitive and known to spike a ball and scream "In Your Face, Broham!" Hot Tubs:
Bros are natural swimmers and partiers. A hot tub is a bro's playground and has been since bros first appeared in the 70's. Single women should not go anywhere near a hot tub in a bro's presence.
A tee-shirt, tight-jean-clad comedian. Hair sometimes spiked into a brohawk. Possibly pops his collar. Brody Jenner
from MTV's "Bromance." We'll get to the definition of Bromance later, when we explore popular "bromanteaus." (Pronounced bro-man-toe. It's two words combined to make one word. Our version has to have the word bro in it.) Brody Jenner is most famous for dating Lauren Conrad of "The Hills" fame. He wears a backwards hat and has a black book that's a mile long. In the show, guys compete for a spot in his exclusive entourage, which includes rich bros that do nothing but party in hot tubs.Derek
, the fictional character from "Step Brothers." A classic example of what happens when a bro becomes successful. Groomsmen gifts for broguls like Derek: a sleek money clip key chain
. That way, he can flash his cash and not seem conceited.
Groomsmen Gifts for Various Bros:
Bro incognito. He pretends to be creative in order to pick up those hot art-house chicks. He shows off his sensitive, arty side but only in front of the attractive barista. Once she leaves the room, he takes off those nerdy black vanity glasses and goes full into bro mode. Groomsmen gifts for brohemians: Wine glasses
. He'll bring them out when she's around. But when it's just the guys, it's all about personalized shooters
. G.I. Bro:
A combat-obsessed bro. He thinks he's Sylvester Stallone, except more ripped. He swears he once wrestled a crocodile and claims he knows how to cage fight. Groomsmen gifts for G.I. Bro: engraved pocket knives and multi tools
He's secretly and surprisingly smart. When he's not out with his buddies, he reads. When he gets drunk he philosophizes. Absinthe is his drink of choice and he uses his knowledge to get ladies. Every pick-up line begins something like this: "You know Nietzsche once said....." Groomsmen gifts for the brofessor: personalized pens
or a document bag
, also known as a murse.
Popular Bromanteaus and Brospeak:
From the Onion
and the Urban Dictionary. Brogesteron:
Energy drinks and beer. The fuel bros need to survive. Broweiser:
A bro's favorite drink. Used in a sentence, "Broweiser anyone?" Or "Beer me with one of those broweisers, ,man." Bromance:
As described by the Urban Dictionary: The complicated love and affection shared by two straight males. Brofessional:
An old bro. He wears an earring and baseball hat to distract from his graying temples. He lectures younger bros but fails miserably with dated pick-up lines and stories from his glory days. Brodom:
The things a bro will do for other bros. Like when he "gets your back" or "backs you up" in a fight. Brodom can also be used to describe the alpha bro's realm, similar to "kingdom." Bromosapien:
A new breed of guys, taking over the world one awful reality show at a time. Brolific:
Intellectually productive. Like when he realizes there's a new way to use bro in a word. Brohawk:
A highlighted fauxhawk that barely measures an inch. Not to be confused with the mohawk, which trendsetters once considered cool. The brohawk is a bro's sad attempt to stand out from other bros. That's all bros! Shop for personalized gifts for groomsmen
and all your bros at GroomStand.com. And finding bridesmaid gifts
at WeddingStand.com is just as easy.