Groomsmen's Blog

Wedding Traditions You Can Leave at the Alter

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What makes your wedding day special? Think about it. What was going through your mind when you thought me + cute girl = awesome wedding? (Trust me on this one; it's still a good idea... I'm going a different direction). Hopefully, you came to the conclusion that your wedding is a day to celebrate your commitment to the one you love.

But sometimes it's not all celebration. Sometimes you get bogged down with all of these antiquated wedding traditions. It's as if we are spoon fed all our lives the idea of what a wedding should be - which is a valid point of view. While weddings are a set of century old traditions, our values and priorities change over time. We don't want to stomp all over wedding traditions; we just want you to think about what's most important for your special day.

Father giving away the bride

The best example of antiquated wedding traditions is the father giving away the bride. Obviously, this tradition started before women had rights. Then Boom! Women's suffrage hit (which doesn't sound like a good thing, but totally was), and now women are not just property traded from the father to the groom.

Here are some options for your own traditions:

  1. No one gives away the bride.

    If she's in her early twenties, she's probably been doing her own thing for a while. Plus, no one gives away the groom. Now it's even.
  2. Give a nod to both parents.

    It's true that this tradition recognizes the passing of the bride into a family of her own, so why not acknowledge both parents for making the bride into who she is today.
  3. Bride and groom walk the aisle together.

    Maybe you're hell bent on the bride walking with someone. Since many couples live together way before marriage anyway, walking down the aisle together can symbolize the new family bond.

Paying for the wedding

Mommy wow, you're a big kid now. If you're big enough to get married, you should be big enough to pay for the wedding, groomsmen gifts, venue, tux and all. This is a great rule to live by because when you're paying for it, you call the shots. If the parents or in-laws want to pitch in, by all means, let them. Be forewarned, the more they spend means the more they get to vote with their dollar. Make sure you make clear boundaries so no one oversteps your special day.

Wedding food

If you're going to hold a day-long party, you should have some food. However, food shouldn't have to break the bank. Maybe your favorite dates with the fiance were at the local Mexican joint. No one will criticize you for serving your favorite food at the reception (although you should keep presentation in mind when it comes to the enchilada). If you're not cake people, go with pie instead.

Invitations

Sending out wedding invites is a big hassle. With all of its tissue paper, tassels and RSVP compartments, there is a good possibility that the only thing you understand is the price. This is weary territory for the frugal. If the hand-crafted wedding invitations are a must, figure out who is most likely to save your invites for years to come. Otherwise, know your audience, and try online Evites as a free invitation option for your age-appropriate friends. Your groomsmen will not be heartbroken. They might even thank you when they can pull up the details whenever they want on their iphone.

Choosing the best man

Dude, you can do what you want when it comes to this category (see Can Fido be Your Best Man?) If you don't want to single out one buddy over another, say they're both best men. In fact, the best tradition you should stick with is grabbing great groomsman gifts from GroomStand.com. Your groomsmen are planning a sweet bachelor party and they're shelling out some dough to rent a tux, the least you can do is set them up with a stainless steel flask with cigar holder for all their trouble.

Remember, wedding traditions are a right of passage, but that doesn't mean they're set in stone. Some people believe it's good for the bride to rip her dress and get a pin prick by a bridesmaid. I guess sometimes it's bad luck to believe in silly superstitions. Make your wedding day special by borrowing or invent traditions as you see fit.

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