Groomsmen's Blog

8 Weird Dating Sites You Never Knew Existed

Posted on Mar 03, 2010. 0 comments

If you're soon to wed, you've probably been off the singles' market for awhile now. Things have changed since you last approached a woman with your trusty back pocket pick-up line: "Hey lady, are those space pants? Because your butt is out of this world." No wonder why online dating attracts more men than before.

Modern bachelors have it easy. Instead of going to the nightclub, they sit comfortably behind a computer screen, typing in lol, brb, ttyl, and luv u 4ever at all the right moments. And if the guy can't think of anything to say, he has a couple minutes before the IM icon starts flashing. No uncomfortable silences or face-to-face rejection. No public breakups - simply delete the little lady from the buddy list.

Since you found your bride-to-be, give your bachelor groomsmen a membership to one of these dating sites as groomsmen gifts. Even if he doesn't find the girl of his dreams, these sites are good for laugh. Out loud.

Love Me Love My Pets - If your buddy gives a longing look at his terrier like the guy in this picture, he might have a problem. The idea behind LoveMeLoveMyPets is fine if you want to date the creepy lady with 17 cats. E-Amish - Amish, Mennonite and Bretheren Dating Site. "I would like to meet a nice guy from among the Amish. Must be a non-drinker, non-smoker, non-wife beater, hard worker." Whoa - high standards. Shouldn't she automatically assume that if her mate is Amish, he'll be a hard worker? And since when do the Amish use computers? At least there will be no surprises when he picks her up in the old horse-and-buggy. Democratic Singles - No more going to dinner with a lady and finding out that she's dun... dun...dun...a Republican. The horror. Now Democrats can meet someone that appreciates political bumper stickers and shares their disdain for George Bush (pretty much the whole country). Groomsmen Gifts Hint: If your bachelor buddy sets up a profile, prepare him for date night with this democrat steak brand. He can wow her with a branded tofu burger. Such are the things of lasting love. Nerd Passions - "Boldly eschewing the shackles of conventional popularity, Nerd Passions is a place to embrace your nerdiness!" A nerd definitely wrote that poetic declaration. Nerds are forever trying to rid themselves of that taped-glasses, high-jeans wearing, pocket calculator image from the 1980's (thanks Revenge of the Nerds). This dating site lets you put your inner geek out there. Nerd passions makes it OK to mention World of WarCraft on your very first chat. Check out the profiles. Wait a second...some of these people don't even know what a newbie is- impostors! No Longer Lonely - "We are a welcoming community that understands the trials and pitfalls of managing a mental illness." Feeling a little lonely since your stay at the state mental institution? Come here and find someone just as unstable as you. Image the love story: "We met online on No Longer Lonely and now we're crazy...about each other." The couple that hears voices together stays together. Women Behind Bars - If the women are behind bars, what are they doing on a computer? More importantly, do men behind bars know about this site? Best chat-up line for the incarcerated: "Baby, let's not go out together." Sugar Daddie - "Where the classy, attractive and affluent meet." Our translation: "I have money. Date me. I'll pay for things." You better have a fat wallet if you're going on this dating website. Is income listed on the profile? Ladies, where was this website 10 years ago? Groomsmen Gifts Hint: If your groomsmen thinks he's a sugar daddy, set him up with a wallet or money clip. Scientific Match - "ScientificMatch uses your DNA to maximize the chances of finding chemistry--actual, physical chemistry--with your matches." Wait - what kind of dating website asks for DNA? Our hypothesis: sending DNA to a future partner is probably a bad idea; it's kind-of a romance killer.

 

Good thing you already found your fiance. Imagine the slim pickings in these chat rooms! Celebrate that you never have to go through the misery of dating again. Online and in person, it's tough out there. Being a married man does have its perks. Shop GroomStand for groomsmen gifts and everything else you'll need on the wedding day.

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